COAF VOL 1: Stop Texting My Wife B*tch
Location: Houston, Texas
Recently, while hanging out with friends, I unwittingly caused an argument in someone's already fragile marriage. It was unintentional but somehow, I got labeled as the other woman and I wanted no association with that title. Let me explain....
For the sake of this article let's call everyone Christina. While chillin' at my friend's house I’m talking to an acquaintance named Christina and we’re all discussing music. We began discussing an artist she was unfamiliar with and I was asked to text her the name of the artist in question.
Easy enough, I pulled out my phone, selected Christina, and sent the name of the artist “Lion Babe” for her to have later for reference. As the afternoon progressed, I went back to check my phone and that's when it happened…I saw a text from an unfamiliar number that read “Stop texting my wife b$tch.”
Immediately, I knew I text the wrong Christina but what other Christina did I have saved in my phone? It’s a common name and after double checking, it turns out I have at least 4 Christina’s in my phone. This Christina had no accompanying last name.
Here's a little context you need to know to help things make sense. I used to host events and I have a lot of random people's contacts from giving event details, directions, and whatever else party people ask about. I immediately sent my friends screenshots of the text I’d read. From there, the search was on to figure out who the mystery Christina was, as well as who was behind the unnecessarily hostile text sent to my phone over a simple text.
Eventually, with the help of a nosey Scorpio friend who happened to have Christinas number in her phone, a social Gemini who knows too many people in the gay community, and the Zelle app, we figured out who the mystery couple was. We also figured out that I’d never met either of them in person even though my friends did. Her number definitely came from hosting events.
After the giggles, initial shock, and snooping came to an anticlimactic end I have a few takeaways. For those of you in rocky relationships please consider the following:
“With Love,
“The Other Woman” (Although you made it all up in your mind)”
Leave when you see the red flag girl. Just go! If a person has been doing you wrong so often that one text with no context makes you turn into a Twitter bully you need to leave. You are worth the peace. There are plenty of fish in the sea. During the ordeal, I thought to myself “ Is this what people in relationships are doing?”
Sometimes the past can’t be repaired and that's a tough truth. You don't get brownie points for suffering through a thing. Please go live your life because sticking it out until everything implodes is miserable. You are worth the green flags.
Stop being so aggressive. I know this is not exclusive to masc-presenting women however studs, I’m looking directly at you right now. You’re out here reacting to things that don't require a reaction. Texting someone to stop texting your wife will not make them stop texting your wife. A text from the wrong person should either be ignored or responded to with no emotion. A simple “wrong number” response is all that was needed. A basic text from a stranger should not have the power to take down your whole marriage.
If you have trust issues in your relationship therapy is not an option, it is a necessity. Working on yourself is admirable and working on the relationship will earn you a gold star. Therapy will provide an outlet as well as tools to help manage everyday issues like texting. Regulating your emotions is not only a great way to keep your dignity, but it's also great for your physical health.
In today's world, there are so many things that cause anxiety and stress. Adding unnecessary angst is dangerous and sometimes avoidable. Don’t freak out over a text. If you can’t let go of the distrust go back to step one and plan your exit. And speaking of exiting, I’ll leave you with last-minute tidbits. I hope this article helped push you in the right direction.
Tidbits:
Be consistent about adding last names or identifiers to your contacts to avoid situations like this.
The lesbian web of connectivity is strong! After 3 hours of sending screenshots and telephone numbers, eureka we did it!
How you respond to things is often a reflection of your partner. Don’t embarrass that lady like that.
With Love,
“The Other Woman” (Although you made it all up in your mind)
