Nisha: Artist & Musician
We’re THRILLED to finally be sharing this interview with all of you! Last month we chatted with artist Nisha on their new short film 11:11. The film embodies the path of Nisha’s coming out story as a non binary person using the embodiment of the Masculine and Feminine Hindu gods. Their story is fascinating and we absolutely the the visuals for the film. Check it out below along with our interview!
TFF MAG: Tell us a little bit about your backstory and what coming out as a queer person was like for you.
Nisha: So ... I've actually never mentioned this publicly but my first romantic experience was with a girl when I was in elementary school. At the time I was hugely confronted by the experience and didn't tell anyone because I was so afraid of what would happen. In some ways though it made me more open to following my attractions as I got older. I don't remember what it was like coming out as queer, I just sort of started living my life and let everyone catch up.
Coming out as non-binary was spiritual for me. I meditate everyday, and one day during a meditation, I had this image of myself walking into a family event and feeling my family perceive me as non-binary - as not being adhered to any gender. I started crying because I felt so freed. Having that emotional release made me realize this was something I had been dealing with for a long time and allowed me to start taking the actions I needed to shift the boundaries around my gender perception.
TFF: What resources or role models did you have to help shed light on your sexuality and gender identity as a non binary person?
Nisha: I'd like to say I've read a lot of books but I honestly don't have the attention span. I've absorbed a little bit from many places including following queer influencers on social media and tv. I mostly learn a lot through conversations with my friends, researching things on the net or the art and media I consume.
TFF: Tell us about your inspiration for the short film you recently released?
Nisha: I had a lot of complicated ideas I wanted to streamline into one story. Being a third culture kid (Indian, born in Nigeria and raised in America,) I've had a very nomadic experience. I liked the imagery of the monarch butterfly because they are migratory, delicate and striking. My logo is a lightning bolt which comes from the N in my name. I had been researching lightning and found that it occurs when there's a buildup of negative and positive energy. Lightning acts as a release that balances out these energies. These visual metaphors just spoke to me in trying to tell my own story as a queer immigrant. Externally I felt very vulnerable and fragile going through these transitions, but internally I could feel a sense of identity forming and the video was a way to release that pressure built up inside me.
TFF: Why was it important for you to draw the connection between your own personal story and the Hindu Gods?
Nisha: There is so much diversity in Hindu mythology. I grew up deeply steeped in these narratives without fully understanding what they meant. When I revisit them now, I find many answers that are both an anchor and a set of wings. I was really drawn to Ardhanarishvara - the depiction of the gods Pravati and Shiva unified in one body. DIscovering non-binary and trans Hindu gods showed me that not only was I not alone but that my existence was divine. Divine source to me is unconditional love, and it was important to me to connect that to my experience since God is sometimes co-opted to exclude people who are different from those controlling the structures of a particular worship or religion.
TFF: How would you describe who you are as an artist?
Nisha: I think I'm fairly unpredictable. I cycle between being really introverted and extroverted and that gets reflected in my work. I definitely am always going probably deeper than I need to because I want to make sure I'm building monuments that can last. Because I've had so many drastically contrasting experiences in my life - a lot of highs and lows, I think my work has primarily been about identity and love. Trying to figure out who you are and how to love yourself in that difficult process.
TFF: What else are you working on this summer?
Nisha: I'm dancing a lot :) I found that dancing has been the best way to integrate my coming out as non-binary with some of the body dysmorphia that I have been acknowledging. I'm always making more music and will hopefully release some in the fall.
TFF: What keeps you inspired creatively as an artist?
Nisha: New things :) new experiences. Nature, travel and listening to other people who are at the edge of their own field making discoveries.
TFF: Last question. How would you sum up what creativity has done for you on a spiritual level up until this point?
Nisha: Wow such a great question. To me creativity and spirituality are kind of the same thing. They are both a practice of getting into the present moment, connecting to your higher self and then surrendering and seeing what happens. Developing this process has become the basis for how I live my life and the more I practice it the less I can see any other way to live a sane life :) We have so many options around us - so many tools, but you have to know what it is that you want to build, and how you want to feel to access happiness. I would encourage everyone to do something, pick up a paintbrush, a pen, a bread maker -whatever is your jam - find something you love and start having a dialogue with yourself on how to create love.
