Opinion: The Anatomy of a Girls Girl
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“I’m a girls girl”
Everyone has heard that phrase at least once in their life and everyone has seen what a farce it can be at times. Some of the people who claim to be the biggest girls girls are actually mean girls repackaged. In a community where women love women, what does it actually take to be a girls girl and mean it?
I want to start this article by saying that the majority of my 20’s was spent in strip clubs in an environment where I was surrounded by powerful women daily. I worked at clubs from Texas up to Florida and at my “home club” in Lafayette Louisiana, I had the privilege of experiencing the highest form of kinship among women I’ve ever experienced.
The first thing I noticed was that a true girls girl won’t deem other women as a threat for any reason. The basis of the mentality of a girls girl revolves around self esteem, self respect and an authentic appreciation for women. In queer dynamics, women already appreciate other women in a romantic sense, but it doesn’t mean they’ll appreciate or respect women outside of a relationship.
In heterosexual dynamics, society attempts to groom women to exist for the male gaze, inadvertently pitting women against each other as competitors instead of counterparts. The strip club naturally flips that dynamic on its head creating women who come together for a common goal. Money and freedom.
Watching a group of women wield their sexuality and charisma like a weapon to secure stability is a life changing experience. Watching women pretend to be a girls girl only to turn out be a supervillain in real life is sad, but not sad enough to get in the way.
Issues arise for women as a whole when subgroups of other women decide their power is dependent upon a partner, external validation, or the approval of men. Now we’re talking Roe v. Wade. Now we’re talking infringing upon LGBTQ+ rights and supporting political policies that go against the best interest for women and queer people, all for the sake of being in proximity to someone with the mentality of a podcast bro.
Throughout life, we all have the opportunity to form a village of women who are in support of other women. Being a girls girls transcends the act of hosting a brunch or attending a weekend retreat. Being a girls girl is about finding support within a group of women who have shared experiences, open minds, and understand the necessity for community. Being a girls girl creates better quality of life for women as a whole.
Women’s power doesn’t come from the gaze of a partner or external validation. It comes from a strong sense of self and when a woman has validated herself, she has no problem validating other women too. There’s enough room for everyone at the table and when a village is strong, the people in it will be too.
