30 Something and Figuring It Out

PHOTO: Aryka Randall

Fab Friends, if you need a sign, this is the blog post you’ve been looking for. It has come to our attention that many of you think you need to have everything together by the time you turn 30 or by the time you’re mid 30’s. I’m here to tell you that couldn’t be more wrong.

First and foremost, when was the last time you stopped to smell the roses and appreciate what you’ve already created for yourself? Being ambitious is great but it has the tendency to take away from all the things we’ve already accomplished by allowing them to be overlooked. Wherever you are now is exactly where you’re meant to be. Give yourself a pat on the back for how far you’ve come.

Our 20’s are designed to help us figure who we are, where we want to go, and how we want to get there. Depending on the hand you were dealt in your 20’s you may not get the opportunity to really dive into who you truly are until you hit your 30’s. Your 30’s are a time for you to shine a light on all the things you learned in your 20’s. All the mistakes, the heartbreaks, the shitty jobs, the uncertainty about who you are and where you’re going. Half of the confusion is self imposed and the other half is a reflection of our subconscious desire to meet societies status quo.

You don’t need to be married, own a home, be five years into business, or have a bunch of accolades by the time you turn 30. You don’t need to have it all figured out to feel satisfied and accomplished. What you do need to have is a plan, discipline, and a positive but practical mindset.

There isn’t enough dialogue surrounding the journey of figuring things out on a personal level in our 30’s or even our 40’s. A lot of the time when we make major decisions about career or relationships in our 20’s we end up changing our stance later down the line once we get to know ourselves better. So even if you had a life that was picture perfect in your 20’s, it may not be something you desire in your 30’s. Again that is perfectly ok and normal.

If you’re worried about creating stability before or during your 30’s ask yourself these questions:

• What are you doing to figure out what you love or how to get on track towards figuring it out?

• What are some limiting beliefs or toxic behaviors you may hold that have stopped your personal growth?

• What are three things that have brought you constant joy throughout the years and how are they intertwined with your everyday routine?

• What’s one goal you absolutely MUST obtain before you leave this earth and how will you make steps towards obtaining it? How long will those steps take to execute effectively?

• What’s bringing you discomfort and how can you change that?

Every single one of us has the ability to create the life we want and there’s no time limit on making that happen. All you need to do is believe in yourself and get real about what’s required to make you feel like things make sense.

Remember, you’re always growing and evolving so your hopes and dreams may change with your your evolution. Allow yourself time to sort through everything that’s unclear in a healthy way and give yourself the opportunity to figure things out without being judged by your harshest critic; YOU!