Opinion: Rules of Engagement For Lesbian Dating in 2024
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Well ladies, you’ve already been busy on your BS and we’re only two months into the New Year! I know dating is hard but let’s be real. Studs are out here looking for a mother figure, femmes still don’t know how to flirt, and the dating pool is so small you know everyone in a 100-mile radius on Hinge. Despite these unfortunate difficulties, we’re all still outside looking for love and as a result of simply being sick of watching it happen, I've taken the time to outline some standard rules of engagement for lesbian dating in 2024.
RULE 1: First things first, please have something to say. After successfully sailing past the initial information exchange it's time to get to know each other. Our goal here is to understand what the person is looking for in a relationship and gain an understanding of who they are. The only way to successfully do this is to ask open-ended questions. We are talking about all the questions that allow a person to expound on the answer. Stay away from yes or no questions. To drum up questions that encourage communication you must pay attention. Don't have conversations while you’re distracted, it's rude. Show her that you're willing to give her quality time and if you can't seem to do that, kick rocks.
“Don’t have conversations while you’re distracted, it’s rude.”
RULE 2: Rule number two is going to be hard for some of you because you don’t make it a habit of minding your business. I’m begging you, don't ask about their exes. It doesn't do you any good unless you both dated the same person at the same exact time. Asking about a person's past relationships early in the dating stage distracts you from getting to know more about them. Stay focused, there are other things to discuss. Does she enjoy her life? How would her friends describe her? What else would she rather be doing? There are plenty of questions besides those about an old bag of bones. There will always be time to go deeper to find out what they learned from past relationships but for now, let it ride.
RULE 3: Have a plan and enjoy something other than going to eat and drink. Our third rule of engagement helps create experiences together and opens up exploration. Get physical, tap into creativity, and you could even get nostalgic with it—bowling, axe throwing, VR games, book store dates, scavenger hunts, and more.
RULE 4: No social media cameos. If you haven't had a conversation about being exclusive please don’t waste her time and most importantly our time with a vague social media cameo. You know the kind of post, an emoji is covering their face or two pairs of feet captured on the sand. If you haven't been together for at least eight to twelve months, leave us out. We are here for a hard meaningful launch.
RULE 5: Let's start normalizing spending time apart. And no, I don't mean just using it as an excuse to binge-watch Netflix and text your person constantly (although that can sometimes be pretty tempting, I won't lie). I'm talking about taking a breather, giving yourself that much-needed space to reflect and recharge. It's like hitting the reset button on your relationship. Hopping from relationship to situationship like you're auditioning for a U-Haul commercial is not the business, and it’s also not the smartest move, emotionally or financially. Let's normalize spending time apart, embrace those breathers, reflect on your interactions, and make decisions to set you up for success and spit out a lasting relationship.
