The Ex Factor: Is it Possible to Have a Genuine Friendship With an Ex?
PHOTO: Freepik
This is touchy topic within the queer community but we all know at least ONE other queer person that’s close friends with an ex. In a community where homo erotic friendships are the norm and the line between friends and lovers can be blurry, is it possible to be genuine friends with an ex?
At the end of January we asked Fab Femme followers if they feel comfortable having a partner who’s friends with an ex. The majority said yes while one person expressed being ok with it, but not preferring for their partner is friends with one of their ex’s.
One question many have asked regarding being friends with an ex is what’s the point? For some, there is a genuine friendship there and for others, there’s a toxic bond that’s very hard to let go of. Figuring out which is which can be the hard part.
Before deciding to maintain a friendship with an ex long for the lung haul, here are a few things to consider:
How is the friendship serving both of you and how does it benefit you mentally and emotionally?
Would you be ok with your partner or future partner maintaining a friendship with a meaningful ex?
How long did it take you to heal after your breakup with the ex you want to maintain a friendship with, and are there any lingering emotions there?
Will your ex be respectful of your new relationships moving forward?
What would your life look like if you were no longer friends with your ex?
How will future you benefit from keeping their energy in your life?
Relationships come in all shapes and sizes and for some, this means maintaining meaningful relationships with people from the past too. At the end of the day any dynamic that can withstand the test of time will require two basic things at its core. Trust, and open communication. Without those two, nothing can stand the test of time.
